Thursday, September 6, 2012

This new lifestyle of mine is finally beginning to work.  It took an hour this morning to get dressed.  Shower, exercises, clearing, leggings, then clothes.  I will have to do the clearing and exercises at least once more today.  Also the massage which means taking the leggings off and putting them back on.  Unless I wait til bedtime to do the massage.

Mike and I have been discussing this a lot.  There is another piece of equipment they are trying to get approved through the insurance.  It will take another 2 hours everyday to complete the therapy with that.

On a day that I was feeling miserable with all this, I told Mike I just can't say "thank you" to God for any of it.  I can't find a way to praise Him for this.  Especially when it takes a good portion of my day dealing with it.  It is ugly, cumbersome and hot.  Plus I have more to wear!  You know those compression pants the football players wear?  Yep, I need a pair of those in my size.  But back to this.  I can sing when I have to, but it is not joyful.  I've prayed and hollered and prayed some more.  But I just cannot praise the God of my life and salvation for this condition of lymphedema.  I don't need another thing to add to my ever growing list.

Then Mike, my dear, sweet, loving husband responded.  He told me I don't have to praise God for this storm in my life, but praise Him IN this storm.  I don't have to thank God for my conditions, but thank Him for the good in my life.  I know, I've been a Christian a long time.  I should have known this.  I should have been able to see it myself.  But I didn't.  I think I was just too angry.

I sing now with joy in my heart because I know sometime in the future God will show me all His glories.  I look forward to Heaven.  I'm not ready to go there, but I look forward to it.

I will praise Him - IN THIS STORM, not for the storm.  I WILL thank Him for all the good I have.  I don't have to thank Him for the myriad of health issues, but I can thank Him that my heart is healthy.  I can thank Him that I don't have cancer.  I can thank Him for my children, grandchildren, my mother, and more than those, I can and do thank Him for my husband.  He is truly my helpmeet.  He holds me while I cry.  He laughs at me when I am goofy because of my meds.  He helps me with my compression gear when he is around.  He helps me with the household chores that I should be doing, but can't.

Lord God above, thank you so much for giving me Mike.  You knew the kind of man I needed long before I knew I needed him.  I love my husband evermore everyday.