Tuesday, February 15, 2011


I have an incurable disease. I take a lot of meds everyday.  I have pain somewhere in my body almost everyday.  I get depressed by it all every now and then.  But when I say anything about it or post it on FB, people get upset.  I am not supposed to be negative.  I have people watching me all over the country.  I am a preacher's wife and people "might get the wrong idea".  I am supposed to be happy and joyful about everything all the time no matter what!  Well, it doesn't work that way. 
Yesterday was a very bad day for me.  I said something about it a couple times to a couple people. Big deal. Does no one else ever have a bad day?  Am I the only one? Or am I the only one not allowed to talk about it?  I offended a couple people yesterday.  Family.  Who cares!  They don't have 7 doctors.  They don't have 15 different meds on a daily basis.
I am a Christian so I am supposed to be perfect? I don't think so!  If you just leave me alone a little while, I will be just fine. Let me work it out in my own way!  Was Job a perky Paula? Was he jumping up and down for joy when he was covered in boils? Was he shouting praises when all his children died?  Was Mary singing "hallelujah" when he firstborn son died on the cross?  NO.  They just didn't turn from God.  Neither am I.  I figure it is better for you who are around me if I warn you that I'm in a bad mood.  That way you know ahead of time!   You all have bad moods too whether you want to admit it or not.  And the people around you know it.  I refuse to put a lie on my face. 
I am still a child of God.  I am still in love with my husband.  I still enjoy my church.  I am simply having a difficult day or two.