This whole week has been difficult physically and emotionally.  I thought it was just the weather and air pressure.  Of course the stress and mess from the compression garments and my therapy (or lack of it this week).  But today's activity put the last connection to it all.

It was 3 years ago that my dad was assaulted and his arm broken while he was in the hospital.  Today was the final payment of that settlement.  We officially dismissed our lawyers today.  Do we feel better? No. Not at all.  We are glad and relieved that it is over.  But not happy in the least. My father died 15 months ago.

One thing we pray for is that our fight is making a difference for others.  My dad had family to fight for him and his rights to be treated properly.  But there are many, many others that don't have that resource.  I hope we made a difference.  I hope we shouted loud enough and long enough that others will not be mistreated and abused.

I sometimes wish I could check up on them in the future to be sure the changes are continued.  If you have a loved one in the nursing home or hospital, please don't leave it up to the staff to take care of them.  You MUST check on them continually.  Make sure they are not being abused.  They may have no one else in their corner.  I'm glad I was there for Dad.  It just wasn't quite in time.  There was nothing I could do to prevent his injuries, but I did catch them and forced the hospital to admit the liability and make changes.

Mixed up thoughts

I was going to put how I have been sick with bronchitis all week. With all these new meds added to the old ones. I've been inside except to the doctor. I missed the Y all week, church, other appointments and now my grandkids. Really stinks to be sick.
But, I received a call today from the USAG office. Sentencing for the man who assaulted my dad will be in 19 days. Although we have waited for this day, now that it is definite, it is also sad. How a man let one moment of anger ruin the rest of his life as well as ours. And his own family. Dad will never be the same. But, nothing I do will fix that. This man will never be the same either. He can get better. He can, if he lets God in and allows Him to help him.
I have forgiven this man, I feel sorry for this man, but I also feel the need for him to pay the price for his crime.
I am not angry. I am not happy to see him "get his". I do believe you have to be held accountable and responsible for your decisions and actions. Even if these actions are out of character for you.
This man does not seem like someone who goes around beating up feeble old men. I think there were probably a variety of things that contributed to his actions. These actions resulted in a broken and shattered humorous bone at the shoulder joint, banged up head, and emotional trauma to my 82 yr. old father. My father is in the final stage of dementia. He was in the hospital to get behavior meds under control.
Yes, he was aggressive when he was admitted. However, at the time of the incident, he was ready to come home. His meds had him stabilized and he was back to his "normal" self.
The attack was unprovoked. I know this because I have watched the video of the attack myself. I watched a few times. I just couldn't believe it was actually happening.
There wasn't a trial. The man plead guilty. Now it is time for sentencing. We will be going. I don't know if we will say how this has affected us or not. We gave our statements of it's impact to the USAG office and the judge has set the date for sentencing.
I hope and pray this never happens to anyone ever again. I know it probably will. But, I still hope and pray.

Another comment on Dad

I watched the video today of how Dad was hurt. It is very damning to the one who did it. I signed papers today allowing it to be used by the Administration. It cannot be made public. That would be a violation of the HPPA and privacy laws. I can revoke that permission in writing any time I choose.

On another note, we did not leave on time. Rachael is ready. Her father is not! Hopefully soon.

Dad

A lot has happened since my last blog.
An Administrative investigation is nearly finished. I wouldn't want to be the guilty. The criminal investigation is ongoing. It will be nastier.
Dad's arm is getting better. He should begin therapy next week sometime. His lungs are improving as well. He is eating a pureed diet. Looks like...well, it could be better, but they try. His behavior is better as well. They said he was singing to some oldies on the radio Sunday. Knew the words too.
The Social Worker is trying to find Dad a SNF...Skilled Nursing Facility.
There is a video of Dad being assulted without his provocation. That is just arrogant and sadistic.
We are leaving to take Rachael back to school tomorrow. I hope she is ready to leave on time...noon!
I have a few things to do in the am before we leave, but shouldn't take long.

My Parents

Wow, where do I begin? Two weeks ago tomorrow, I took mom to get cataract surgery. While they were prepping her, she had a heart attack. I sat and watched as the nurses were all working with her. It was a mild one with minimal damage, but still very scarey. I stayed with her most of the daytime that she was in the hospital. Dad was in daycare, so that really helped.
Until Saturday when he got hostile toward the staff there. Mike was picking up Dad and staying with him until I got home. Then we stayed the night with him while Mom was in the hospital.
Dad has severe dementia. He was very confused when Mom didn't come home nights. She was finally released on Sunday. We took her home and stayed with them one more night to be sure they would be ok. The next day, Monday, Dad went to daycare again.
Then Tuesday morning he became violent again. At this point he has hurt 4 staff members by pushing, hitting or scratching them. My son, Ben, and I took Dad to the hospital in the ER.
They finally, after 13 hours, admitted him. He is still there.
Yesterday we had a conference with his medical team. Then we were allowed to see him outside regular visiting hours. I went to hold his hand but he became extremely protective of it. We mentioned it to the team as they were still there. They did seem concerned, but not exceptionally so. They took xrays and found his humerous bone, upper arm, was broken. An Orthopedic doctor is to check him today to see if surgery is required.
He was to go home tomorrow, but now that is changed.
This has been quite an experience and very stressful!

Final thoughts for 2008

Well, Christmas Eve was definately interesting. Dad "ran away" from mom while at Walmart. She has him wait for her in the McDonald's with a cup of coffee while she does a little quick shopping. Well, I guess he got tired of waiting on her because he walked out of the store!
She called me after she had looked thru the store, called security to look and so on. I called my kids and we all converged on Walmart to search for Dad.
Security checked the cameras and show he had walked out of the store at 10:36 am. That was 45 minutes before we got there. We called the police. I could just picture us on the 6:00 news. I called my brother and sister who live in other states. I know they couldn't help search, but they could pray.
BTW, dad has dementia.
Anyway, within a few minutes the police called back. They found him walking down the median of a 6 lane busy expressway! They asked where he was headed and he guessed McDonald's would be good. They took him to a different McD's that was close. He was about 1/4 mile from where he had started!
Dad had no clue he "was lost". He apologized for causing trouble and just didn't understand why all the fuss. Mom took him home and put him to bed for a nap. He doesn't remember a thing.
Thank God he was alright and safe.