This new lifestyle of mine is finally beginning to work.  It took an hour this morning to get dressed.  Shower, exercises, clearing, leggings, then clothes.  I will have to do the clearing and exercises at least once more today.  Also the massage which means taking the leggings off and putting them back on.  Unless I wait til bedtime to do the massage.

Mike and I have been discussing this a lot.  There is another piece of equipment they are trying to get approved through the insurance.  It will take another 2 hours everyday to complete the therapy with that.

On a day that I was feeling miserable with all this, I told Mike I just can't say "thank you" to God for any of it.  I can't find a way to praise Him for this.  Especially when it takes a good portion of my day dealing with it.  It is ugly, cumbersome and hot.  Plus I have more to wear!  You know those compression pants the football players wear?  Yep, I need a pair of those in my size.  But back to this.  I can sing when I have to, but it is not joyful.  I've prayed and hollered and prayed some more.  But I just cannot praise the God of my life and salvation for this condition of lymphedema.  I don't need another thing to add to my ever growing list.

Then Mike, my dear, sweet, loving husband responded.  He told me I don't have to praise God for this storm in my life, but praise Him IN this storm.  I don't have to thank God for my conditions, but thank Him for the good in my life.  I know, I've been a Christian a long time.  I should have known this.  I should have been able to see it myself.  But I didn't.  I think I was just too angry.

I sing now with joy in my heart because I know sometime in the future God will show me all His glories.  I look forward to Heaven.  I'm not ready to go there, but I look forward to it.

I will praise Him - IN THIS STORM, not for the storm.  I WILL thank Him for all the good I have.  I don't have to thank Him for the myriad of health issues, but I can thank Him that my heart is healthy.  I can thank Him that I don't have cancer.  I can thank Him for my children, grandchildren, my mother, and more than those, I can and do thank Him for my husband.  He is truly my helpmeet.  He holds me while I cry.  He laughs at me when I am goofy because of my meds.  He helps me with my compression gear when he is around.  He helps me with the household chores that I should be doing, but can't.

Lord God above, thank you so much for giving me Mike.  You knew the kind of man I needed long before I knew I needed him.  I love my husband evermore everyday.

Low fevers, body aches and pains are a normal part of my life.  So, I have learned to ignore most of them.  My OT is a time of relaxation for me.  Boredom for Mike.  It takes about an hour and a half for the therapist to do the clearing and massage.  Everyone is noticing the difference.  I guess I am sceptical.  I do see the difference, but am wondering how long it will last.  She said it is a forever condition.  I am just hoping the compression garments are not forever.

I have lost 25" overall in both lower legs.  I have lost a few pounds as well. Not as many as I had hoped.  But maybe that is to come yet.  I am becoming "softer".  That means the protein is softening to break up and flow properly.  That is very good.

I keep hearing from people how they are inspired by me.  I also hear from several that keep up with me on Facebook and this blog.  This really boggles my mind.  I don't think I am anything special.  Others have pain and move on with life.  I am not the only one.  I don't mind being an inspiration I guess.  I mean, if God can use  me to help someone else, then that is a good thing.  A God thing.

I look to Job.  I think about his losses.  His boils.  I can't imagine having boils from head to toe.  One boil is enough pain for any one person!  It can't be "popped" like a zit or it will spread.  But, Job had boils covering his body.  No wonder he sat naked in the hot ashes!  The warmth most likely helped "ooze" the nasty stuff out of the boils and ease the pain.  And maybe help hid the odor of infection.

Then I am reminded of the sufferings of Christ.  His were "short lived" in that He died!  But He also rose again.  But to be beaten, humiliated and put to death.  Personally, I am NOT ready to die.  I am not afraid to die because I know I'll be in Heaven.  No more aches and pains.  No more fatigue and exhaustion!  But, I'm not ready to curl up and die.  I don't think God is finished with me yet.

I have also learned we cannot compare sufferings.  "I hurt less than Jane Doe."  Or "I have more issues than that person, but you don't see me whining!"  God gives us each just what we can deal with.  But we can never do it alone.  We need His help and peace.  Sometimes I think God must think I can handle a lot!  Because, sometimes I feel sorry for myself and think I have too much wrong with my body.  Usually those are days I am most tired and achy.  Usually a dose of meds will cure that issue.  And I am so very thankful for the doctors God has put in my way.

On a different note, I finally finished and am satisfied with the Lupus Awareness Butterfly pendant I have made.  How about I show it to you?  Tell me what you think.  Also, please, feel free to comment or ask questions.  If I can help, that is why God is allowing me to go through this.  In my humble opinion that is.

Have a blessed day!

How do you fight depression?

Having more than one chronic illness and chronic pain, I am susceptible to depression. I have known this, but it was brought to my attention again by my primary doctor. She suggested medication. I politely told her...not yet.

Yes, I do get depressed. Everyone does. I probably more so than most normal people. So why not take the meds? After all, what is one more pill? It is one more pill! I get depressed when I hurt, or am so swollen I can barely move, or when I am exhausted. These things happen every day. I also get depressed when we have financial trouble. I get depressed when everything hits me at once.

How do you personally handle your depression? Got any secrets to it? Do you take the drugs? I mean, many people have to. They wouldn't be able to function without the medication. That's ok.

Personally, I have found a number of ways to handle my depression when it hits hard. As a Christian, the first thing is to pray. But that isn't the end of it.
1. Pray
2. I have my grandkids around. They are so happy and lively. It wears me out, but it makes me happy!
3. Church. Sometimes it is difficult to get ready physically and emotionally. But, once I am at church I get encouraged by everyone I see and visit with. I go home elated.
4. Serving others. Yes, service to someone else is a big lift. It's a feel-good time. Helping by visiting, working together, or just holding their hands. I hate hospitals. But I like the way I feel after visiting someone there. If I can make them feel better, it makes me feel better.
5. Comedy. I love to watch good, clean comedy. It has to be clean and it has to be good! If it is just dorky, it isn't good. Or read a good humorous book. I have two favorite humorous authors...Rene Gutteridge and Liz Curtis Higgs. They just do wonders for me! Most of the good comedic movies for me are animated..."Happy Feet" is one.
6. Shopping. Now this one can be expensive. But it doesn't have to be. Even if we are broke I can usually scrounge up $10 or so. Then I can shop as long as I can without pain and be particular about what I am looking for. Sometimes it is just a bouquet of flowers or a box of cookies. Sometimes it will get me a shirt. Sometimes it will be for a gift to someone else. But shopping is good therapy.

So, what do you do for your depression?